No, the mere statement of that word out loud intimidates many women. Why? Because from birth we are pre-conditioned that to say no means, we are rude and disrespectful and unwilling to help others. This is simply not true and I hope that after this message you will take back your power and learn to say no.
Many times we say no, immediately followed with an apology. We say, no, I'm sorry. We do this so that we don't feel guilty. There is no reason to feel guilty when we say no. Think about that for a moment, why do you feel guilty, why does your decision to take care of yourself, save your money, or not participate make you feel that you are doing something wrong. As we explore this idea let me ask you a question, do you apologize for blinking your eyes, do you apologize for taking a nap, and do you apologize for putting on a nice warm sweater? No, you don't, each of those actions is a built-in part of you taking care of yourself. You make these decisions without apologizing so the same can be said for making the statement no. It's part of your necessary self-care.
However, there are those individuals who will attempt to force their guilt onto you and make you feel bad. For example, they will say, "if you don't do it, no one else will" or "if you don't do it, I don't know what I'm going to do" these are manipulative statements to make you feel cornered. Now I'm not saying if there is a life-threatening thing happening that you should say no. However, in most instances like this, it's because the other person doesn't want to figure it out on their own. For those people, consider using this statement. " Wow, that's interesting that you feel that way, how are you going to work that out?" You haven't said yes, you would do it, you haven't apologized, you have given them the opportunity to adult up and handle the situation on their own.
The key is to preserve your self-care time, guard it closely, just because you are divorced doesn't mean that you are the babysitter, errand runner, event planner for everyone. Your time is valuable and never let anyone steal it from you. Now when you are asked to do something you don't want to do, you can look at your calendar and say, I can't, I have a pre-scheduled appointment.
The key is to preserve your self-care time, guard it closely, just because you are divorced doesn't mean that you are the babysitter, errand runner, event planner for everyone. Your time is valuable and never let anyone steal it from you.